A Humorous Poke at Myself
Just thinking today about how weird and old-fashioned I am and decided to make a list. I call it:
“You Know You’re Old Fashioned When…”
I don’t really know if I qualify as old-fashioned when compared to the homey old timers of bygone generations, but I certainly feel it in light of my current generation. When I was at the DMV the other day, the lady behind the counter was going off at me about “No cell phones, pagers, blackberries, video games, or any electronic devises inside the testing area. If one goes off you are immediately disqualified. That’s right. I said disqualified.” I remember thinking Um, I don’t have any of those things. A mixture of very strict parenting and an overly sentimental fondness of the past has morphed me into an untechnologically savvy mutant of this generation. Oh well. 🙂
Anyway, here’s my list:
You Know You’re Old Fashioned When…
- You don’t know how to send a text and you’re not even sure if your mom’s cell phone (which you use) has a texting ability on it
- Your ballroom dancing instructor casually mentions “Fred and Ginger” and you find yourself offended at the boy who has the nerve to ask “Fred who?”
- You dream of marrying Cary Grant and think that his horn-rimmed glasses are the epitome of manliness. Justin Bieber’s baseball caps are not.
- You freak out at the possibility of taking cooking shortcuts and would rather navigate your own culinary minefield than use a frozen pie shell
- The idea of someone reading a book on a computer screen rather than snuggled up in an armchair makes you want to cry
- The news of Elizabeth Taylor’s death also makes you want to cry (When Michael Jackson died you wondered “Who? The pasty guy with the kid hanging off the balcony?”)
- You frequently use words like “incandescent” and “golly” and “swell”
- Beaver Cleaver was your first crush
- Most of your favorite dresses probably belonged to someone’s grandma. You just picked them up at a vintage store.
- Your relatives give you old people magazines (Reminisce!) for Christmas and they end up being your favorite gift. You still rip them open every month.
- You’re so bad at playing on a Wii that the kids you babysit would rather sit around at watch you fail to pass level one for half an hour than play themselves
Yes, I am beyond hopeless. Sometimes I really wish I was an old person, so I can reminisce about the good old days of yore when television was in black and white and a coke cost a quarter. For some reason, I can’t really see myself seventy years from now sitting at a counter and saying, “When I was a girl, we sat at home and played video games! And the Wii! Ah, those were the days!” Sorry. Not me. 🙂