Cranky Days

A lot of people ask me if it’s hard to balance writing with the rest of my life. And the truth is, at sixteen years old, it kind of is. Sometimes I feel like I’m standing on the edge of a cliff, and I’m about to jump. And I don’t know what’s going to happen with my life. Will I go crashing down and make a fool of myself in front of everyone? Or will I fly? Will it be easy, gliding through the clouds like I’m weightless? Or will I have to work my life away at it, to just keep ploughing through?

The stress and pressure of being a teenager and a student and an author and everything else that I am really gets to me sometimes. I mean, it’s not too bad–I really have no reason to complain–but every now and then I get cranky days. I had one of those last week. It’s kind of embarrassing to think about it, but I had a little breakdown in my room where no one could see me. I was doing edits for “Interrupted” and was working on a scene that I think I must have gone through twenty times before. Seriously, I had every word memorized. And then it just got to me. A nagging voice started up in my head, telling me the characters were all silly and stupid and that no one would ever like them. And everything was too sappy or too sad or too optimistic. And for a few seconds, I seriously wanted to shut my laptop and never open it again.

But then I remembered all of you guys. And it was as if I could hear God talking to me, telling me to keep writing anyway. And even though I didn’t want to, I finished the scene.

As I was thinking about it later, I thought about all of the support I’ve been given so far. It really just put a smile on my face to think about all the people who have emailed me and talked about how excited they are to read the book. Or the countless teens who have said, “I’ve always wanted to do that too, and now I know that I can!” All the prayers that have been sent up on my behalf and all the friends and family who I know would do anything they could to support me and make my book a success.

I realize that God has blessed me with this life and this opportunity. And it’s not always going to be easy, or enjoyable. But the end result–the people touched and the friends made, has already made it incredibly worth it for me.


P.S. Photos coming soon!!!! 🙂


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