A Dream Come True
Today, I found evidence that God listens to our prayers. Here’s the story:
All my life I have been a big journal-er, up until about a year ago. So today, I was looking through some old journals just for fun. My sisters were sprawled out on my bed, listening to me read out loud my thoughts from several years earlier. It was actually quite funny, because even when I was eleven or twelve, my journals read the same way this blog does. Lots of sarcasm and dramatics.
Anyway, I came across an entry from 2009 that made my heart stop. This was written a year before I ever started writing “Interrupted.” A year and a half before I got an agent. And two years before I was signed at Zondervan. Here is what I wrote in my journal on January 9, 2009. I was thirteen.
“It’s the waiting that gets to me. The wondering and longing and hoping that really makes it hard. Hoping for a big break; longing to write the perfect story; wondering if it will ever come; waiting for it to happen…
Sometimes I like to flatter myself and think: ‘By January 9, 2012, there will be a book on my bookshelf with the word ‘Coker’ on the spine.’ Rachel E. Coker. A beautiful, hardback book with a photograph of a lovely girl in a lovely dress gazing wistfully off into the distance on the front. It doesn’t matter what color her hair or skin is, or what period style of clothing she’s wearing, as long as my name is on the cover.
Of course, this is really the only selfish reason I want to be published. The others are more common and decent: I want girls to learn to love reading by reading my books. I want to help people become better Christians. I want to make a contribution to the small list of good books out there.
But I still want to be published. I want to be known by people as ‘the girl who, at such a young age, used her talents to glorify God’. Oh, it’s so selfish of me to think like this, but it’s true! Given, I don’t think it very often, just occasionally, but the thought is still there.
I guess the only thing to do is pray for humility (something I greatly lack) and remember that I am to serve God, not man. Even if I never get published, God already has a plan for my life that I can trust He knows about before I ever wrote my first story.”
Can you see why this journal entry shook me up so much? Look at that date: January 9, 2012. I was off by a month. Other than that, it’s all there. My book is coming out in February, 2012. I described the cover to “Interrupted” perfectly–a year before I even started writing it.
All I wanted on that winter day in 2009 was to be published. To make a difference in the world and be something. But I knew that fame and success weren’t God’s primary plans for my life. And it was hard, but I prayed for God’s will to be made clear anyway. God drew out the big picture for my life before I was even born, and it was to glorify Him. Funny how the number one thing I wanted, turned out to be exactly what He had in mind after all, huh?
So I guess the message in all this is: Number one, I seem to be psychic. (Okay, maybe not…) Number two: God listens to us when we ask Him for things. And sometimes He gives them to us, sometimes He doesn’t. If all you want to do is write, then God already knows that. He may or may not make you successful at it. But if all you want to do is follow His will, then He promises He’ll show you what that is.