Things I’ve Learned About Christmas By Watching Hallmark Movies

I have a like/hate relationship with Hallmark movies. I mean, on the one hand, I want to utterly despise them. They are so incredibly cheesy. And the actors are really bad. And I can always guess what the next sentimental lines are going to be before they are spoken. But, on the other hand, once you start watching one it’s really hard to turn it off. Especially the Christmas ones. I always hate myself for sitting down when one is on TV, because I know that after ten minutes I won’t be able to turn it off. Will the little boy get that puppy that he wanted? (I don’t get why I even care about this since I don’t even like dogs) Will that girl’s boyfriend propose in time for her to have a Christmas Eve wedding? (Christmas Eve weddings are way overrated anyway) And where will the adorable orphan children spend the holidays this year? (Oh, my gosh, this plot always makes me cry! ARGH!)

Anyway, I decided to compile a list of things I have learned about Christmas by watching Hallmark movies. It may be the longest blog title ever, but this will be epic. Prepare yourself. Get a box of tissues or something….

Things I’ve Learned About Christmas By Watching Hallmark Movies

  1. Being able to sit at the piano and spontaneously play and sing Christmas carols is a really attractive and totally normal trait for a guy. I mean, if your boyfriend/potential fiance turns out to be  total jerk, just go back to the Christmas-carol-playing guy and make beautiful music together. You will never be lonely again…
  2. Old people that are grouchy are undoubtedly really, really nice people. Do not fear them or their scary pruning shears at all!
  3. Go out of your way to talk to cute random guys on the airplane when going home for the holidays. Most likely they just broke up with some crazy girlfriend and are looking for someone to spend time with this Christmas. Plus, they’re probably also worth like a million dollars or wrote some kind of best-selling novel or something. And if the novel becomes a movie, maybe they’ll let you star in it alongside Johnny Depp!
  4. Follow the examples of people who are kind to puppies because good things always happen to them this time of year.
  5. Plan a Christmas Eve wedding even if you don’t have a boyfriend because someone is bound to propose by Christmas! Go ahead and drop who-knows-how-much money on that Vera Wang wedding gown. It won’t be hanging in your closet for long…

Christmas is so much more meaningful to me now that I have learned to emulate my life after Hallmark movies. I only hope the same for you!


P.S. Oh, and in case you totally didn’t get it, this article is in no way serious. Do not talk to random guys on planes. If you’ve learned anything by watching horror movies they are undoubtedly serial killers searching for their next victim. Seriously!


Trackbacks & Pingbacks


  1. * Samantha says:

    Rachel, this is so entertaining–it makes me laugh.

    | Reply Posted 6 years, 6 months ago
  2. * Skye hoffert says:

    This is so funny, and considering my favorite Christmas movie is a hallmark movie. Well it makes this all the more entertaining

    | Reply Posted 6 years, 6 months ago
    • * RachelC says:

      I know! I watched one this morning! You can’t help but like them, despite the cheesiness! 😉

      | Reply Posted 6 years, 6 months ago
  3. * tylerabernethy says:

    ironically, two of friends parents met on an airplane when they were sitting next to each other when he was living overseas, they kept in touch and got married!!!!! see? hallmark movies DO happen in real life!

    | Reply Posted 6 years, 6 months ago
  4. That’s so funny! I don’t think I’ve actually seen a Hallmark Christmas movie, but I’ve seen enough snatches of regular Hallmark movies to get the gist of them.

    Excellent list! I loved that I expected a serious analysis of the movies, based on your post title, and I ended up reading this sincerity-oozing post instead. (;

    | Reply Posted 6 years, 6 months ago

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