Our Latest Crazy Idea
So, if you’ve been following my blog for a while now, then you probably know that my sister Hannah and I take ballroom dancing lessons. (Yes, we are that cool) You may also have caught on to the fact that we love to quote movies — like, to an extremely unhealthy level. And, if you’re good at coming to conclusions, you may have realized that when Hannah and I are left alone together we turn into a pair of crazy, loud, witty, snarky teenage girls.
Long story short, we were left alone the other night. After our youngest sister went to bed, Hannah and I hung out on our sofa upstairs for about an hour. After a while, our talk turned to ballroom dancing, and naturally went crazy from there. You see, we hatched a plan. After discussing a few of our favorite movies, Hannah and I decided that we simply must dress up to the next few ballroom lessons in full-on movie costumes and randomly quote our movie of choice to all of our dance partners. That’s right. We intend to single-handedly terrify the male species through a perfectly executed display of cinematic wit.
Deciding what movies to emulate and quote was, of course, difficult. This is because Hannah and I have amassed a huge memory bank of movie quotes through our many years of careful study and observation. We knew that we needed movies that would have elaborate costumes, awkwardly witty quotes, and fun accents to portray. All of these would be necessary to throughly confuse and terrify our partners. So, after a long hour of brainstorming, laughing, shouting, squealing, and finishing each other’s sentences, we came up with the following scenarios.
So let’s see how good you are at movie trivia. I’ll list the following imaginary ballroom dancing scenarios below, and then at the bottom of the blog post I’ll post what movie/character we were referencing. Go ahead and see how well you’d do with one of us as your partners!
– The first one is going to be a really fun night. Full-on costumes. We’ll turn heads when we walk in the door. When one of our partners asks us, “So, what kind of stuff are you into?” We will answer, “Dancing. But only if one’s partner is barely tolerable.” He might get offended. We won’t care. When it comes time to eat snack, we will study the snack table and comment quietly, “Why, what excellent wavy potato chips. To which of my fair partners may I compliment the snacks?” And, of course, everyone’s favorite: “I love the foxtrot… most ardently.”
– The second time we dress up, we’ll have to go for something a little different. Think more spontaneous. More green. This one will involve lots of smiling blankly into space. When our partners ask us what’s up, we’ll shrug and answer, “I just like to smile. Smiling’s my favorite.” If an awkward pause occurs in the middle of a conversation, we’ll throw our arms out and shout, “The best way to spread holiday cheer is singing loud for all to hear!”
– Once people start catching on to our madness, we’ll need something totally kooky to throw them off our scent. That’s why our pick for the third class will be perfect. Our long sleeves may make it a bit hard to waltz, but we’ll manage somehow. And if someone tries to cut us off in the line of dance, we’ll shout, “YOU SHALL NOT PASS!!!” That’ll teach them. And if someone tells us to stop, we’ll rub our foreheads and say, “One does not simply stop quoting amazing movies.”
– For the fourth ballroom dancing night, we’ll go a little Southern. The costume may be a little boring (and I’m not sure if we’ll be allowed to wear suits), but the accents will be epic. When we’re led into the circle to find a dance partner, we’ll muse aloud, “The circle is like a box of chocolates. You never know who you’re gonna get.” And when we’re going through the snack line, we’ll ramble on and on about our favorite foods. We’re talking about: “Steamed shrimp, fried shrimp, shrimp gumbo, shrimp sandwich, shrimp creole, burger shrimp…”
– And I’m really excited about the costumes for our fifth and final movie night at ballroom dancing. Think Renaissance gowns, braided hair. Oh, yeah. It’s gonna be sweet. I’ve already decided how I’m going to greet my partners after they introduce themselves. It’ll go like this… Random Dance Partner: “Hi, I’m John. Nice to meet you. And your name?” Me: “I fear the only name I can leave you with is… Comtesse Rachel de la Coker.” Then, after a few minutes of careful conversation, I will chide him on his politics and then accuse him of suffering his people to be ill-educated and corrupt, thereby making thieves and then punishing them. This may make my partner fall madly in love with me, though, so I really have to be careful. Guys love snobby, blunt peasants.
So, yep. That’s our plan. And that’s all I have to say about that.
Movies cited: 1-Pride and Prejudice, 2-Elf, 3-Lord of the Rings, 4-Forrest Gump, 5-Ever After
Other movies considered: Pirates of the Caribbean, The Princess Bride, Megamind, Gone With the Wind, Oklahoma, It Happened One Night
[Image via fashionsoftheages.com]