The Devastating Cuteness of Vintage Couples
I have this problem. You’ve heard me talk about it before. I’m an unromantic person. Part of this is probably due to the fact that I am semi-allergic to hugs and refuse to get within a two-foot radius of anyone but my best friends. Another part of it is most likely a reaction to the fact that Lizzie McGuire and Gordo never ended up getting married and therefore effectively ruined my childhood dreams of happily ever after. Not saying I’m never attracted to guys or that I think it would be awful to be in a relationship. I’m just grossed out by all the Hollister-clad hipsters making out at amusement parks and breathing the same air as me.
That being said, I have recently made a startling discovery that has my head absolutely spinning. And that is the undeniable fact that vintage couples are the most adorable thing in the whole world.
Seriously, it’s awful. But couples in the 40’s and 50’s just knew how to make being romantic look cute. Probably because they weren’t all up in each other’s space and making fools of themselves in public. They were holding hands all classy-like and swing dancing in suits and little dresses. They had perfect hair and impeccable posture and were just experts at looking generally attractive.
This is obviously a devastating revelation and I don’t think I’ll ever be able to view romance the same. Because after just half an hour of browsing vintage Pinterest boards and wrinkling my nose at the disgusting cuteness of it all, all my former expectations are going to fly through the roof. Now I’ll be expecting some tall dark guy with a James Dean haircut to come and sweep me off my penny-loafered feet and drive me off in his ’54 Chevy Bel Air while Benny Goodman plays on the radio.
The internet is bad for you, people. Do NOT fall for the trap of looking at old vintage photos online, thinking you’ll walk away perfectly fine and undamaged. Trust me when I tell you that you’ll be scarred for life, okay? Don’t fall into the same trap I did. Just promise that you’ll come and visit me one day in my lonely llama farm (the internet has also caused me to think that llamas are much more adorable than they actually are), surrounded by my vintage photos and bewailing the fact that I never found my Cary Grant. Spare me from suffering that miserable fate alone.
(All photos from vintagecouplesinlove.tumblr)