rachelcoker



First World Problems

It was one of the most tragic things I’d ever heard.

I remember exactly where I was when I received the devastating news. Sitting on a bench outside of Auntie Anne’s, munching on an extra-salty soft pretzel and enjoying the still warm September breeze. My friends were chatting around me, everyone getting along just fine, when suddenly my friend Ellery clutched my arm, her eyes growing wide.

“Rachel,” she said, her voice dying to a frantic hush. “I forgot to tell you — Oh, it’s the most devastating news.”

“What is it?”

Ellery took a short breath, as if trying to brace me for the turmoil ahead of us. She gulped. “This is just going to break your heart, but I found out the other day that… that…”

That WHAT???

“That James Dean was only five-foot-seven.”

She squeezed her eyes shut and shook her head as I took in this devastating, earth-shattering news. Never mind the fact that James Dean died fifty-seven years ago. Just forget about the fact that he was a Hollywood big shot and probably never set foot in Virginia a day in his life. Disregard every rumor you’ve ever heard that he was a smoker and drinker and drove recklessly. He was still the man of my dreams and this was absolutely awful!!!

Ellery and I sat on the bench and ate our soft pretzels glumly, bemoaning the fact that even if you factor in an extra two inches for his hair (because they guy had amazing hair, ya’ll), we still wouldn’t be able to wear heels around him. So we buried our dreams of having him as a potential future husband while Ellery’s sister Hailey tormented us with the gleeful fact that she is five-foot-six and could still wear wedges in his presence. Lucky.

[I don’t know which is more gorgeous–the man, or the leather armchair]

Why am I telling you all this? Because it is absolutely pathetic that we even had this conversation to begin with. We’re obviously addle-brained for falling for a dead movie star two inches shorter than us who probably would have never given us the time of day anyway.

This is called a first world problem. And it’s an epidemic I happen to suffer from all the time. You probably suffer from it, too. One pillow is too thin, two are too thick. The air conditioning is freezing and the heat is stifling. The last loaf of bread has an odd number of slices, so I have to use the end piece for my sandwich. These are serious issues, people!!!

But perhaps the worst first world problem of all is this: Falling for fictional characters. Am I the only one that this happens to? Like all the guys you know in real life are either total dweebs or interested in someone else, and you’re just over there by yourself crying your eyes out that Gilbert Blythe doesn’t exist? Agh. It’s painful. Prince Charmont will never ask me to marry him if he can’t escape that dumb book and pop up in my living room instead!

These are the things that cause me to loose sleep at night.

Obviously I need to get a life.

Oh, but before I go — One more picture of James Dean. Because he’s wearing those glasses! And reading poetry! Both of which make him absolutely irresistable, in my book.

[Oh, James… Shall I compare thee to a midsummer’s day? Or do you just want to take me for a ride in your shiny little race car instead?]

-Rachel

Advertisements

Trackbacks & Pingbacks

Comments

  1. * Leorah :) says:

    LOL!!! Oh, how great it is I can finally poor out my story book crushes woes to a person who understands!
    I am 5’nothing and in my mind, far too short for most of my favorite story crushes which has led to weeks of depression. (Or hours of bemoaning to my family but that’s pretty much the same thing.) I mean, no guy wants to go out with his “lil sister,” right? As for the time when the fact Prince Char wasn’t real hit me, wow! His letters to Ella melted my eleven years old new to all things romance heart. I seriously read them maybe…oh, a million times each. And when I read his diary entry when he thought Ella had eloped, I cried. I felt like someone ripped out my heart and nailed it onto the floor. That was the first book I ever cried in.
    You have no idea how ecstatic I was at happily ever after! I cheered and cried and laughed and swooned…and then I realized something. Prince Char wasn’t real.
    Oh how it hit me like a ton of bricks! My family went to this Valentines party that night and instead of dancing like all the other young and carefree people were, I sat under the desert table eating my emotions away. No guy could measure up to Prince Char in my eyes. And under the table I remorsefully vowed to never dance with anyone because of it. It was either Prince Char or nothing…
    Three years later I did end up breaking that vow but only because the dance request was totally sigh worthy. I mean, I needed something in my diary to keep my great grandchildren reading…right?!
    Anyway, I can go on for literally hours about how heartbroken books have made me but as I don’t want to sound totally weird, I won’t. I so know what you mean though!

    | Reply Posted 4 years, 10 months ago
    • * RachelC says:

      Oh my gosh, your comment made me laugh out loud. So glad to know I’m not the only one struggling with these heartbreaking emotions! 😉

      | Reply Posted 4 years, 10 months ago
  2. * Jordanna says:

    You make me laugh, Rachel!
    The closest thing to a literary or celebrity crush I’ve ever come to, was wishing that Walt Alderson hadn’t died young and that he lived 150 years later.
    Kudos to anyone who knows who that is 😀

    | Reply Posted 4 years, 10 months ago
    • * RachelC says:

      I don’t know who Walt Alderson is!!! I’ll have to look it up…

      | Reply Posted 4 years, 10 months ago
  3. * Gracie says:

    I know EXACTLY how you feel…*sigh.* I think I’m probably deeply in love with Gilbert Blythe (I have this thing for guys who wear suspenders), but he’s…he’s…not real. 😉 And as for the height factor – I’m 5’8 and am quickly discovering that most men who I wish for (fictional and actually breathing) are a good two inches shorter than me.

    Well, at least I don’t feel the need for a boyfriend. I’m already in love with 10 or so fictional characters anyway. 🙂

    | Reply Posted 4 years, 10 months ago
    • * RachelC says:

      Haha, this is true. Real guys just don’t compare to the men of our literary dreams. So say the single bookworms everywhere… 😉

      | Reply Posted 4 years, 10 months ago
  4. * Emii says:

    First world problems, I’ve been finding a lot of these lately!
    And speaking of Gilbert Blythe… our class was visiting another school to listen to some lady give a talk. “Hey!” I said to my friend, motioning to a guy sitting by the front of the opposite side of the room, “Is it just me, or does that look like Gilbert from Anne of Green Gables?!”

    It wasn’t just me.

    Rachel, I read Interrupted this week and oh, it was so wonderfully good! I really enjoyed it. Sam was totally cool and it was just an enjoyable journey to be in on.

    | Reply Posted 4 years, 10 months ago
    • * RachelC says:

      Ugh, LUCKY!!! I want to meet a guy who looks like Gilbert Blythe! 😉
      So glad you enjoyed Interrupted! Thanks for letting me know. 🙂

      | Reply Posted 4 years, 10 months ago


Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: