You Don’t Always Get What You Want
Coming from a pessimist, this has always been kind of obvious to me. I’m one of those people who is probably never one hundred percent happy all the time. I can be really cheerful and bubbly at times, but usually I’m always thinking about something, no matter how insignificant, that is standing in the way of my true happiness. It happened again this week. I wanted something so badly that it was getting in the way of my happiness. I was thinking about it, worrying about it, and basically freaking out over this one sort of random thing that I wanted to happen. You can probably guess what happened. I didn’t get what I wanted. All of the things I’d been praying for blew up in smoke. I won’t say I was heartbroken, but I was pretty sad. I cried for a while, which is really lame if you think about it, and then stiffened my upper lip and told myself not to wish for such big things next time.
That’s where I went wrong. Because I’m a dreamer, and I’m always wishing and hoping and praying for big, impossible things to come true. The pessimist side of me is constantly there, telling me that those things are never going to happen, but the dreamer in me can’t help but wish for them anyway. And so sometimes I feel like I’m stuck in this constant cycle of anticipating wonderful things and then crying myself to sleep because none of my dreams came true and I didn’t get what I want.
I know. Total sob story. Seventeen-year-old published author didn’t get what she wanted one day. Cry me a river.
Obviously, I’m not suggesting that my brain is working in a semi-reasonable way. Because if it was, I would realize that I have everything I’ll ever need in life. I’m young and healthy and successful with a loving family and network of unbelievable friends that all believe in me one hundred percent.
This is something I need to be constantly reminding myself. Because the sinful part of me tends to get way too hung up on not getting what I want. I fail to take the time to look around and be grateful for what I already have. God has blessed me with so much, but I’m never going to be content when I’m constantly looking for fulfillment and happiness outside of Him.
I know what would happen if I always got what I wanted. I would always want more. And more, and more, and more. Even then, I would never be satisfied. It’s not really a problem of not getting what I want, but of always wanting what I don’t have. And so, I pray that in the following days and weeks, instead of wishing for things that God may not have in mind for me, I’ll pray for the strength not to desire those things.
What reason could I ever have to be dissatisfied or discontent with what God has given me? I know that He’s put me right where I am, and that He knows exactly where I’m going to go. So I don’t have to lose sleep at night or cry into my pillow because of some silly thing that I had planned out for myself. I won’t always get what I want in life, but just as the old classic rock song says, I find that I get what I need. Because I have a God who loves me and cares about me, and who will always see me content and happy, as long as I find that joy in Him.